This is one of the most painful realities a stander may face. Adultery and emotional betrayal create deep wounds. Scripture does not minimize that pain.
You can grieve honestly before God while still refusing hatred, vengeance, and despair. Pray for conviction, truth, repentance, and deliverance. Also pray that God would guard your own heart from bitterness and obsession.
Standing in this kind of pain requires surrender. You are not called to compete, chase, or prove your worth. Your identity is not determined by your spouse’s sin. Your worth is secure in Christ.