Hey friends,
I have been standing in the gap for my marriage since early June of 2025. Although I have been in church my entire life, I had never heard the biblical principles of standing in the gap until my own world fell apart. Like many believers, I had watched the heartbreaking rise of failing Christian marriages over the years and never imagined my own would one day be among them.
My wife and I are a blended family, His, Hers, and Ours, with three beautiful children. Like so many marriages, ours carried deep struggles beneath the surface. Looking back honestly, I can say the man I am today is not the man I was for most of my marriage. I carried unresolved trauma, struggled with anger I did not fully understand, and often failed to be attentive, compassionate, or present.
Blending a family during COVID, working from home, and being together constantly stretched me in ways I was unprepared for. In the chaos, I lost sight of the blessing God had given me: a loving wife and three incredible children.
Before everything unraveled, I stepped into teaching a Sunday school class, what our church calls a Connect Group, specifically for blended families, a group that often goes overlooked. I wrestled with God over teaching, knowing it did not come naturally to me. I also knew that stepping into that role would place a spiritual target on my back. Less than seven months later, everything began to crumble.
My relationship with my wife grew painfully strained. We stopped prioritizing our marriage and allowed parenting to consume everything else. Our spiritual life together faded. There were no more bedtime prayers, no Scripture, and no conversations about God like we once had while dating. Looking back now, I see the real issue clearly. Our marriage was not failing because of circumstances alone. It was failing because our shared relationship with God had withered. God had not left us. We had drifted from Him.
In the early months of standing, I did almost everything wrong. I allowed outside voices and perceived friends to influence my reactions. I was angry, bitter, and defensive. Compassion was absent. My heart was hard. Like many men, I wrestled deeply with resentment and frustration.
By September and October, I was still battling division, manipulation, and intrusive thoughts that constantly pulled my eyes off God. Yet slowly, through repentance, humility, and obedience, God began to soften my heart. More than six months into this season of standing, I now stand for my wife and children not out of fear or control, but out of compassion and a love rooted deeply in God.
I believe God calls us to stand in the gap because Scripture reveals His heart for covenant. Malachi 2:16, Ezekiel 22:30, Mark 10:9, and many other passages testify to this truth.
Strangely enough, I am grateful for this season. You might ask, “How can you be grateful for separation?” The answer is simple. Without this painful season, without standing, and without separation, I would not be walking with Christ the way I am today. God has humbled me daily, and I remain in a posture of brokenness because I never want to forget what He has shown me.
The “why” of this season quickly became a “what.” What was God revealing in me that needed to change? I could not continue living as the man I once was. I was headed toward destruction spiritually, relationally, and personally. God, in His mercy, woke me up.
I have learned there is purpose in the pain. What the enemy meant for harm, God is using for good, just as He promises in Romans 8:28. I stand for my wife and family because I am determined to show them that God is still God and that He alone can remove a heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh, as declared in Ezekiel 36:26.
As I write this, my marriage is not yet restored. My wife had filed for divorce in July 2026. But I believe in the promises of the Living God, the God who restores even what appears dead. I trust that this season, too, will be redeemed, not for my glory, nor for my sake, but for His alone.
I look forward to continuing to share my journey of faith with you through our podcasts and videos on TikTok.
No matter what I seek God's perfect will and trust God with the outcome.